Navigating the paradox of grief and living in a culture that doesn’t understand grief and loss

Grief is a shared human experience that everyone experiences at some point in their lives. It can happen at the most uncertain times and disrupt life's stability. We, as humans, can deny and shut down the emotional sides as a coping mechanism to avoid the painful reality of loss. Loss can take many forms: death-related loss, health-related loss, and other forms. It can show up as you transition into social status. Death and loss are part of the life cycle present in all cultures. Modern culture expects the grieving person to return to the old self post-grief. Life after grief is a difficult terrain to navigate as you balance your responsibilities and take care of your needs and others. The unspoken side of grief is the loneliness of navigating and adjusting to a new reality. Grief cannot be erased or fixed. It is a form of love to grow around it. Spoiler alert! The loss of someone you love is a form of love. Escaping from grief is an attempt to escape the pain, but it catches up to you. We need to validate the experience of the grieving person to feel seen and supported. We may not be able to always support the grieving person, but being present in their experience makes them feel less lonely. They need your support and to be heard/seen.

Here comes my personal take on my own grief experience. Grief has been a unique experience that changes based on the experience. Loss has made me fear the loss of my loved ones. Reality is messy and different based on what I have experienced. The only way through grief is to face it despite how painful it is. There is no timeline for grief, even though it has been years. There are days I put on a façade pretending to be strong, but it takes a lot of energy. It took an act of courage to understand how to process loss. Recently, I lost a loved one that I wish was here right now. The loss made me angry and scared, but I accepted my emotions and where I am at. I know it will get better. Time may not heal the wound, but you learn to accept it as part of your life experience. Some changes will happen, but I’m okay with it. The post-grief person will be different. It feels odd at first. You can have good moments despite grieving. I had to get back to basics to take off my mind, body, and spirit. I had less energy and focus than usual; therefore, I had to adapt and be gentle with myself. Asking for support has helped me navigate the space of grief.

To conclude, I want to remind you that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Remember to be gentle with yourself as you adapt. Life combines ups and downs, and you learn to go with the flow. Strength and resilience come from surviving the storms in your life. You don’t have to go through loss alone. Embrace humanness in this experience.

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